life happens

Life happens when you are busy making plans. There is no truer statement than that.  I had this weekend planned out, and nothing turned out the way I thought it would.  I was supposed to go to Shreveport on Saturday but while I was eating lunch with a friend my little boy started wheezing.  He is 2 and has asthma.  This asthma stuff is a whole new territory for me.  Its hard to know what to do when I've never had to deal with asthma before.  My husband has asthma, but he deals with it.  So when my son has problems with his I still freak out.  I brought him home and gave him a breathing treatment.  Thank God for nebulizers.  He took a nap and when he woke up his breathing was still off but getting better.  I gave him another breathing treatment and kept an eye on him for the rest of the night.  He is on a preventative inhaler that he takes every morning and every night so he has been doing better.  I don't know what set his asthma off at the restaurant.  That's the part that worries me.  Might have been allergies but I don't know.  So then Sunday I planned on gong to Shreveport.  Everything was going good I overslept so I missed church but Benjamin's breathing was good so we planned on going.  However my body had different ideas.  I don't know what is wrong with me but my stomach will randomly attack me.  It feels like my stomach is swollen shut and on fire.  It hurts to breathe much less move.  It will last for a few hours and then go away leaving me feeling like my stomach has been used as a punching bag.  Its awful but I can't figure out what triggers it.  I will go one day to have the scope my doctor suggested done, but for now I don't have time so I suffer through the attacks.  I thought today that life sucked and I had bad luck, because my plans kept falling through.  I know that isn't true.  There were tornado warnings all afternoon so I would have been on the road during that time.  Thank God for little blessings.
 I know how blessed I am.  I try not to take things for granted but today I got an even bigger reality check.  A girl I went to school with was killed in a car wreck.  We weren't real good friends or anything, so I'm not going to pretend like she was my best friend.  However, her death does affect me.  She was 22.  Younger than me.  She had a little girl who was about to be one.  She had sisters and a family that loved her.  I know that tomorrow is never promised, I learned that the hard way.  But I never thought about what that meant now.  Her daughter will grow up without a mother.  She is too young to really be able to remember her.  I can't imagine losing my mom, but worse I can't imagine never knowing her.  My heart breaks for that family but more so for that little girl.  She doesn't even know yet that her life has been changed forever.  Now I wonder what would happen to my kids.  Would they remember me if something were to happen? Who would take care of them? I love my kids more than anything and I hope that they will always know that.  I can't get over how her family feels.  I know the loss of a sibling.  I know what it feels like to get that phone call.  I pray that they will have the strength to make it through the hours, days, weeks, months, and years to come.  Their lives will never be the same.  I hurt for them.  Like I said I wasn't close to the girl but my heart breaks for her family.  It shatters for her sweet baby girl.   Life isn't fair.  A child should never have to grow up without a parent.  I need to really sit down and think about what would happen to my kids.  I need to make sure they would be taken care of.  I want them to know I love them.  So tomorrow I will write them a letter.  I will write them a letter every week.  I am a young mother so I never considered that something could happen to me.  Even though I know life is fragile you don't think about anything bad happening when you are young.  But the truth is it can.  Right now I don't have a lot of money so I couldn't make sure they had that but I can make sure that they will have something to remember me by something to let them know that I love them.   I pray that nothing happens but you never know.  So take the time to tell the ones you love that you love them.  Hug them tight.  So my planned weekend was ruined but instead I spent the weekend snuggling with my baby boy.  And that means more to me then a trip to Shreveport.  Remember the blessings in your life and thank God for everything you have.