crazy insane

Well guys, believe it or not I still haven't lost my mind! LOL on the way there but trying to stay calm!   Our show opens on Monday so we are all putting the last touches on our designs as I type.  My husband comes home today so hopefully he will stay out of my way for the next couple of days! I know it sounds mean but he knows what I am talking about lol just try to keep the kids occupied and not be right up underneath me so I can finish my stuff.  I'm glad he will be home for my show.  This week is trying to kill me! I am printing and cutting and ordering frames and trying to find someone to print the sizes I need and trying not to hyperventilate.  Every time I think about my show I go briefly crazy lol So I don't have much to report on other than my show.  My kids are good, they can't figure out why their mama is so crazy. So sorry this is short post but I promise after my show opens I will have more to write about! Have a great week!

Senior show, flooding roads, and first time home buyers

So this is a few days later than my normal Monday posts but hey I've been busy! I'm trying to finish my pieces for my senior show.  I am pretty sure I am going to be a basket case by the time the 2nd gets here! I love design but this semester has been a stressful one.  This week itself has been one of the hardest I have had in a while.  I really feel like I am on the brink of a nervous breakdown.  The extra stress will go away in a few days, when I complete my show and I hope that will help level me back out but we will see lol
So yesterday we had a record amount of rainfall where I live.  It rained over 6 inches in 5 hours.  I couldn't even make it home because my road was flooded. I was more scared then I have ever been through storms.  I've been through quite a few hurricanes but we live so far inland that they really dont give us anything but some rain and wind.  Yesterday had me stressing though.  We were under tornado warnings all day and the rain just wouldn't stop.  I hate when we have bad weather.  It worries me because of my kids.  I stress of Benjamin's asthma...what if he has an attack and the power is out? or the roads are flooded and I can't take him to the hospital? Luckily I have a wonderful friend who let my kids and I stay at her house last night since we couldn't make it home.  My town is still trying to recover from all the flash flooding but it could have been worse. 
So with the stress of school and bad weather, to add to my normal everyday chaos, we have been faced with another challenge.  We bought our house three years ago.  It was the first time we ever bought a house and we didn't really know what we were doing.  Well the realtor saw us coming a mile away.  We loved our house.  It was a decent size and all the rooms were already painted a different color. (that won me over being an artist I am always excited to see color and not just bland white or beige walls) So we bought the house.  Well now we find out that only having lived here for 3 years we will have to have it re-leveled.  We never even knew that was a possibility.  It is a pier and beam house but the thought of not staying level never crossed our minds.  Now we are trying to move and we are faced with the decision of leveling it now and staying here a few more years or trying to sell it and take a hit.  I'm ready to move but we have to do what is best financially.  To level it will cost $5000.  Thats a lot of money.  :( So we have a lot to consider.  No one ever tells you that being an adult is so stressful lol So my words of wisdom for this week is DO YOUR RESEARCH before you buy anything.  And if anyone has words of wisdom for me on  how to handle all this stress without snapping feel free to tell me! Because you can only bend so much before you break. So everyone have a good rest of the week.

life happens

Life happens when you are busy making plans. There is no truer statement than that.  I had this weekend planned out, and nothing turned out the way I thought it would.  I was supposed to go to Shreveport on Saturday but while I was eating lunch with a friend my little boy started wheezing.  He is 2 and has asthma.  This asthma stuff is a whole new territory for me.  Its hard to know what to do when I've never had to deal with asthma before.  My husband has asthma, but he deals with it.  So when my son has problems with his I still freak out.  I brought him home and gave him a breathing treatment.  Thank God for nebulizers.  He took a nap and when he woke up his breathing was still off but getting better.  I gave him another breathing treatment and kept an eye on him for the rest of the night.  He is on a preventative inhaler that he takes every morning and every night so he has been doing better.  I don't know what set his asthma off at the restaurant.  That's the part that worries me.  Might have been allergies but I don't know.  So then Sunday I planned on gong to Shreveport.  Everything was going good I overslept so I missed church but Benjamin's breathing was good so we planned on going.  However my body had different ideas.  I don't know what is wrong with me but my stomach will randomly attack me.  It feels like my stomach is swollen shut and on fire.  It hurts to breathe much less move.  It will last for a few hours and then go away leaving me feeling like my stomach has been used as a punching bag.  Its awful but I can't figure out what triggers it.  I will go one day to have the scope my doctor suggested done, but for now I don't have time so I suffer through the attacks.  I thought today that life sucked and I had bad luck, because my plans kept falling through.  I know that isn't true.  There were tornado warnings all afternoon so I would have been on the road during that time.  Thank God for little blessings.
 I know how blessed I am.  I try not to take things for granted but today I got an even bigger reality check.  A girl I went to school with was killed in a car wreck.  We weren't real good friends or anything, so I'm not going to pretend like she was my best friend.  However, her death does affect me.  She was 22.  Younger than me.  She had a little girl who was about to be one.  She had sisters and a family that loved her.  I know that tomorrow is never promised, I learned that the hard way.  But I never thought about what that meant now.  Her daughter will grow up without a mother.  She is too young to really be able to remember her.  I can't imagine losing my mom, but worse I can't imagine never knowing her.  My heart breaks for that family but more so for that little girl.  She doesn't even know yet that her life has been changed forever.  Now I wonder what would happen to my kids.  Would they remember me if something were to happen? Who would take care of them? I love my kids more than anything and I hope that they will always know that.  I can't get over how her family feels.  I know the loss of a sibling.  I know what it feels like to get that phone call.  I pray that they will have the strength to make it through the hours, days, weeks, months, and years to come.  Their lives will never be the same.  I hurt for them.  Like I said I wasn't close to the girl but my heart breaks for her family.  It shatters for her sweet baby girl.   Life isn't fair.  A child should never have to grow up without a parent.  I need to really sit down and think about what would happen to my kids.  I need to make sure they would be taken care of.  I want them to know I love them.  So tomorrow I will write them a letter.  I will write them a letter every week.  I am a young mother so I never considered that something could happen to me.  Even though I know life is fragile you don't think about anything bad happening when you are young.  But the truth is it can.  Right now I don't have a lot of money so I couldn't make sure they had that but I can make sure that they will have something to remember me by something to let them know that I love them.   I pray that nothing happens but you never know.  So take the time to tell the ones you love that you love them.  Hug them tight.  So my planned weekend was ruined but instead I spent the weekend snuggling with my baby boy.  And that means more to me then a trip to Shreveport.  Remember the blessings in your life and thank God for everything you have. 

Pressure is on!

Nothing really new going on this week.  Just taking care of family and school as usual.  I found out the dates to my senior show and that put a little pressure on me.  I was under the impression that our show would be in late April however it will be April 2-7.  So that pushed up our deadlines and made my life a little more hectic.  Its okay though.  I feel like a have a good grasp on things right now.  I'm beyond stressed and my life is like one big emotional roller coaster right now but I feel confident.  I am getting things done and that is what matters.  I went on a bit of a rant last week but it felt good.  I spend a lot of my time biting my tongue for the sake of others but ever once in a while I reach a breaking point.  Seems these past few weeks my temper has been flaring a lot faster, I need a vacation lol Maybe after i  graduate... we will see. So I guess my goal for this week is to try to keep my temper in check and to keep moving forward.  I can do this and thankfully I have family and friends who are supporting me.  If it weren't for them I would not be where I am today.  I appreciate everything they do for me.  Whether its just making me laugh, or taking my kids for a few hours so I can work it is all appreciated.  So make sure you thank the ones who help you.  Be there when they need you.  No one can go through life alone.  I am an extremely independent person and I need help all the time.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Don't just give up or lose faith in yourself when things get difficult.  I hate to hear people say "I can't" when they won't even try.  If you want something bad enough you will find a way.  It might take you a little longer but its worth it in the end.