This is me...

Well, I'm starting a blog for class.  I'm a bit nervous about this.  I've never been one to journal so I might ramble or not make sense.  If that is the case.  Sorry. :) So here goes.  I'm writing this blog to give people who are in a similar situation as me advice, hope, or maybe just something to laugh at.  Even if you aren't in the same situation I think you will find my blog at least some what interesting. I guess the best thing to do would be to explain why my blog is titled "Don't just survive".  When I was in my freshmen year of college I was having a great time.  I had tons of friends, was living on my own for the first time and really happy.  I had dreams of being an elementary teacher, maybe first grade or kindergarten.  That was the plan.  Then on the morning of October 20, 2006 I woke up to a phone call telling me that my 16 year old brother wouldn't wake up.  My mom was hysterical and I was two hours away.  My brother went to sleep the night before and never woke up.  My older brother was in Florida.  We both rushed home as fast as we could, I made it within a few hours and Nic was there the next day.  When I got that phone call I quit living.  Mikey was one of my best friends, we grew up together.  He was only two years younger.  We spent most of our time together, and even when we were apart we would call each other everyday.  He was gone so I didn't see the point in living either.  I withdrew from all my classes at school. I went through the motions of life but I honestly can't tell you what happened from the day I got that phone call til about February 7th.  February 7th was the day I realized that there is more to life than just surviving.  I was 19 and just found out I was pregnant.  I was terrified.  I didn't know what to do.  I told my mom, expecting her to be disappointed in me, and for the first time in months she smiled.  She was so excited!  At that moment I knew that life was worth living.  If she could smile then so could I.  It took me about a week to get the idea in my head that I was going to have a baby. In that week I thought about what I wanted to do with my life.  Where I wanted to go.  I realized that I didn't want to be a teacher.  I wanted to do something that would make me happy.  I used to say that if I could color for a living that it would be the best job ever.  Then I realized you could go to school for art! I was so excited.  I forfeited a scholarship to transfer school so I could study art.   So that lead me here.  To blogging.  lol I am now a senior (took a few extra years but hey I'm here) I graduate in May. I am 24, married for 3 years, and the mother of a beautiful four year old little girl who saved my life and a handsome two year old little boy who reminds me how truly lucky I am.  My husband works offshore so for more than half of the year I am a single mother.  I don't work, I'm lucky to have a husband who can support us while I am in school but I do take full time classes.  So I've learned how to adapt.  I don't see my kids as much as I would like to, but I push myself to finish school.  I want them to be proud of me, the way I am proud of my mom.  I spend most of my life having people tell me I'm not good enough, and I don't care. So anyway back to the purpose of this blog, I have learned a lot by practically being a single mother for my whole college career.  I've learned there is never enough time in the day to get things done.  Kids will always get sick if you have a very important final.  Babysitters are flaky at best, daycare is expensive.  The house is impossible to keep clean if you are going to stay ahead in class. Everything breaks at the worst possible time.  Ridiculous stuff will always happen to you, and when you try to tell people they will either (a) think you are lying or (b) think you are crazy.  Stress is inevitable but manageable.  Even with all that there is nothing better than coming home from a long day at school and opening the door to two smiling faces running at you at full speed yelling "MOMMY!!" Those are the moments that remind you there is more than life than just surviving.  If you are just going through the motions then you aren't living. So take a step back, make sure your priorities are in order, breathe and face the day knowing that even if life gets you down you are still living.  Those are my words of wisdom for now.  My experiences may not mean much to you but they mean everything to me.  So until next time...This is me asking you: Are you just surviving?