Underestimated

A bit random tonight but here goes...
 
Update on dentist: I took my daughter for her oral surgery.  If you ever have to take your kid for that be prepared...the thought of sedating a child is terrifying...the wait is excruciating...when they call you back into the recovery room and your child is hysterical and fighting the nurses because she is terrified you will be devastated.  The doctors warned me all children cry when they come out of sedation.  Said it was normal because they were unfamiliar with the surroundings and would have no idea how they got there.   Well cry is an understatement! My 4 year old little girl was standing up on the bed screaming hysterically, swinging at the nurses, yelling for Mama, and trying to rip her IV out of her hand.  It was absolutely awful I wanted to cry. I got her in my arms and she was still so terrified. They gave her some medicine to calm down and I rocked her until she went to sleep.  Her lips were so swollen and cracked. Her tongue was so dry and cracked and her voice was hoarse from the breathing tube they put down her throat.  I was sure that she would be traumatized forever after that. The anesthesiologist told me that she wouldn't remember but I thought he was lying.  Come to find out all she had to do was go to sleep.  When she woke up she was in a great mood and couldn't figure out how she was home since the last thing she remembered was going to the doctor.  She couldn't figure out why she was talking funny. It was actually cute after I realized she was going to be fine and wouldn't be permanently scarred.  So oral surgery for children: if its necessary and you can afford it then do it.  Just be prepared its worse on you then them! They will forget it...you won't.

Things that need to be said:
Missing a few days from school has put me behind. Which irritates me but my baby is more important than school.  I would do anything for my kids.  I knew I was going to miss school so I tried to get ahead.  I was unable to because of failures to try to communicate with my teacher. Unanswered emails make it difficult to stay ahead.  School is very important to me.  If it wasn't I would have given up when my little brother died, or when I got married, or had my first kid, or my second.  I would have quit when I got stressed, or when the sitters failed to show up.  I didn't. I love school and I love the degree I will have in May.  However it seems that people have a tendency to underestimate me because I have a life outside of school.  So this post is to set that misconception to rest.  Nothing and no one will hold me back from getting my degree.  All the people that have done their best to tell me I can't do it are only making me want it more.  I don't need your help, I will do this.  I might not sleep for the next few months and might go crazy in the process but I can promise you my work will be done. I WILL graduate.  I WILL have an awesome show.  I WILL make you feel guilty for ever doubting me.  It is crazy to me that some people can slide by with awful work and they are never made to feel like they can't do something.  Because they are able to hangout after class.  They are able to participate in school functions.  Well I'm not and even if I was able to I doubt I would.  My work might not be the best in your opinion but I am learning and more determined than anyone up there.  I do my best everyday, very rarely miss class and always have my assignments done on time.  Still you say you don't think I can handle it? I have had almost every single teacher tell me that over the past few years.  I am a strong person but have been reduced to tears on more than one occasion. I have never in my life been in a place that is so happy to tear you down.  Yea it will make you stronger if you can survive it.  It seems that since I am quiet and don't really socialize that people underestimate me.  Not just at school, everywhere.  Well you see the problem with that is my Mama raised me to be strong, to stand up for myself and to never give up.  So I know what I am doing, where I am going.  I will do what I have to to get there.  I will grit my teeth and smile.  Then I will leave you in the dust.  I will make something of myself.  No one will hold me back.  It angers me how many people have tried.  They think I don't know.  Snide remarks or backwards comments do not go unnoticed.   I just don't care.  I don't care what people think about me.  I don't care if you don't think I will make it.  I know that I will.  I have no doubt in myself.  This started as a rant but I think I will end it with a thank you.  Thank you to all the people that tried to tear me down.  You failed.  Thank you to all the people who said I wouldn't make it. I'm almost there.  Thank you to all the people who did there best to make things hard for me. It made me more determined than ever.  So thanks for underestimating me, I knew who I was to begin with, but your doubt as affirmed what I already knew.  So I guess really the point of this post/rant is to tell you that you will meet adversity in everything you do.  You can let it bring you down or you can rise above it.  Don't let people try to tell you who you are.  You are the only person who can define you.